Person’s Story

On July 11th 2016 I went into the hospital, 28 weeks pregnant with flu like symptoms. I learned within hours that my son, Bodhi, had passed away in utero. My brother was with me when I found out, and my parents raced to my side. I called my boyfriend at work, screaming while nurses around me cried. I labored for two days and finally gave birth to Bodhi on the night of July 13th, after things went awry and I almost lost my own life. To be honest when my blood pressure dropped and I felt myself losing consciousness I quietly said goodbye to my family and welcomed an ending, so long as I could join my son in Heaven. But of course the doctors intervened and brought me back right before it was time to deliver. After we had Bodhi we got to keep him in the room with us; we had a day and a half to hold him, kiss him, have pictures taken, and to sing to him. To be able to sing to him was a huge thing for me, as I had grown up exposed to so many genres of music. I sang to him and played all kinds of music for him from the day I found out I was pregnant. A week later we held his funeral at a family plot, and we sang to him before committing him to the earth. Six months later Bodhi’s father and I parted ways... while we were both deep in mourning we handled it differently and it tore us apart. We were strained for a long time. He eventually met someone else and had another baby... but even though his daughter is over six months old now he worried through out that entire pregnancy and worries everyday as though he might lose her. He is no longer with her mother... my relationship with him has improved over time, and we still meet at Bodhi’s gravesite to say hello and reminisce. But what I want more than anything is for my son to know how much his family loves him, and how much we long for his presence each and every day. I do not know what is going to happen between his father and I, but we are both devoted to our son’s memory and nothing will change that.